St. Louis photographer Jess Dugan has spent much of their professional life documenting identity as a concept. They've honed in on the issue of how it impacts gender and sexuality, but what they are most interested in is how we each come to know ourselves and how we connect with other people from that place in a way that's intimate, meaningful and fulfilling.
In their latest book, Look at me like you love me, Dugan dives deep into that, exploring intimacy, companionship and the way identity is shaped by these experiences.
Dugan has work currently on display in the Saint Louis Art Museum — an exhibition titled Currents 120: Jess T. Dugan that runs through this Sunday, February 20 — that explores similar themes as those in their book: the power of identity, desire and connection. Their new book, however, splits off the path of the public, choosing the personal; the book is a collection of Dugan's photographs and is coupled with the photographer's own creative writing. It's the first time they've ever included their own writing in a project, and Dugan describes it as the most personal project they've ever done.
"The book is a kind of visual poem," Dugan explains in an interview with the RFT. "The editing and sequencing was very lyrical. It's a very personal body of work, even though a lot of the photographs are of other people. There are also self-portraits in the book, and the writing is very personal to me. My selection of subjects is very much representative of my own identity and my own desire."
Dugan says the 60 pages came together quickly. The book took just under a year to complete, with new photos that had been compiled over the years and text that was written during the compilation process. Once written, Dugan thought of the text as a similar element to the photographs. They placed the text to follow the arc of the book emotionally and visually, but also left breathing room where the audience can draw their own connections and have their own personal experience with the book.
Some written pieces include reasoning on why they shoot photographs, why they are compelled to be an artist, meditations on images and memories connected to both the photograph and Dugan's life. They add that some texts focused on desire, both intimate and in the broader sense — to be seen, to be understood, to be validated, to have your identity validated.
Many of the photographs within the book have subjects posing outdoors, including a lot from the St. Louis area. While Dugan usually photographs in more personal spaces, they've found an interest in photographing outdoors in the last few years. Dugan sought to explore the difference between rendering queerness indoors versus in an outdoor, public space. The outdoors challenged Dugan to be more responsive and creative in pursuit of "a really intense, beautiful, quickly shifting kind of light" that specifically sunrise and sunset emulate, "for the emotion it provided and the psychology it provided," Dugan says.
Forest Park and Tower Grove Park are two of the primary locations in the book. Tower Grove Park is near where Dugan lives and where they walk regularly, leading them to feel an intimate engagement with the park, almost as if it exists as an extension of their studio. They spent less time in Forest Park, but got to scout different secluded areas to shoot in. Some subjects are in fields, open spaces and by the water, while others appear in personal spaces like bathtubs and bedrooms.
Those starring in the portraits made are people Dugan felt drawn to on an energetic level — a lot of them also St. Louisans. Some images are of friends, some are self-portraits and some are of Dugan's partner. The artist explains they feel drawn to people who "have a certain kind of presence, who have a kind of strength and vulnerability, who are very solid in themselves and able to live with a kind of gentleness around that."
"I'm also really interested in a gentle and more expansive version of masculinity, and in some ways, that reflects my own identity and the way I think about my own sense of gender," Dugan says. "So some of the people that I photograph, you know, they have a quality in them that I either see in myself or I'm interested in seeing in myself. The photographs, for me, exist in this space between me and the person that I'm photographing. And I'm always interested in what that fusion looks like."
A book-release event hosted by Left Bank Books at the High Low (3301 Washington Avenue) is planned for 7 p.m. Monday, February 28, and Dugan will be speaking with St. Louis-based poet Jessica Baran. Left Bank is encouraging those who want to attend to preorder their books online so they can have an accurate number of books available. Vaccination and masks are required to attend. The bookstore is also hosting an online event through Facebook and YouTube.
Dugan looks forward to the book being in the hands of readers. They've seen their photos hang in art museums and have released books before, but being fresh off a more documentary-style book and a successful display in the Saint Louis Art Museum, they're ready for people to see a more personal side.
"It is poetic, it's subjective," Dugan says. "It's about my own identity, my own inner life, my own thoughts. And so, I'm really excited to put something out in the world that comes from such a personal place."
Look at me like you love me is available for purchase at Left Bank Books and on publisher MACK's website, with shipping expected in late February.
Follow Jenna on Twitter at @writesjenna. Email the author at jenna@riverfronttimes.com
