The Novice Foodie's Deadline Trick? A Candy Corn Treat

Then you stir some more and, once smooth, let cool while you go check Twitter and ponder how much sugar you just used in one recipe.

Then comes the fun part: When the dough is cool enough to work with, divide it into three balls. I used food coloring to tint one ball orange and one ball yellow; the other stayed white.

On a piece of parchment, I rolled out pieces of each color into thin ropes. This would have been much easier with the Play-Doh Fun Factory. I pressed the ropes into the familiar orange/yellow/white combination and cut them into triangles.

While cutting, I realized that these chunky little wedges looked quite retro. All they needed was a swap-out of the white for a nice olive green to give them the complete 1970s kitchen aesthetic. As my four-pack of food coloring did not include olive green, I used some leftover orange and the regular kelly green. The results are appropriately scary for Halloween:

As for taste, well... they taste like you'd expect something containing mostly sugar with some butter thrown in for laughs: tooth-achingly sweet. But they look Martha Stewart-y, and if you make candy corn yourself, you don't have to share any with trick-or-treaters because their parents would think you were trying to poison their kids and throw it out anyway.

Guess what, parents? The joke's on you. The only thing you'll find in my candy corn is black cat hair. The best part is that, start to finish, this project took only an hour or so, leaving me plenty of time to come up with a costume by Saturday.

Kelli Best-Oliver is on a quest to become a full-fledged foodie. She chronicles her adventures every Tuesday. She writes about any damn thing she pleases at South City Confidential.