Last year we wrote about how the Missouri Invasive Plant Task Force was offering to haul away your Bradford pear trees, which are currently blooming all over St. Louis, and replace them with something less terrible.
The problem with Bradford pear trees? For one thing, their smell. For some, they smell like rotting fish. For others, they're like vomit. And for the unfortunate majority of us, these things reek of semen.
While the Bradford pear's delicate white flowers are beautiful, they also harbor compounds that are derivatives of ammonia, which produce the familiar, post-coital scent. They actually do produce pears (don't eat them!) that birds love and spread throughout the area, encouraging more of these awful trees to grow.
Now, the state of Ohio has taken the bold step of banning the tree. Legislators have outlawed buying, selling or planting additional Callery pear trees beginning in January 2023. They'll be on the Buckeye State's list of invasive plants, but property owners are under no obligation to remove existing ones if every spring they enjoy feeling like they're on a Brazzers' set.
Should Missouri follow suit? Our concerns, both olfactory and environmental, make us suspect the answer is yes.
Originally published by CityBeat, Scene's sister paper in Cincinnati.
