MONDAY, FEBRUARY 27 An execution-style killing on the edge of downtown St. Louis has the anti-Gardner crowd eagerly sharing snuff films on social media. That includes KMOX’s Kevin Killeen, hitherto known chiefly for his hatred of February, and St. Louis’ own Gateway Pundit. Disturbing. Meanwhile, Cori Bush got hitched! The lucky man, Cortney Merritts, previously worked security for Bush’s campaign and was paid accordingly. Only in St. Louis could something that everyone acknowledges is not actually a campaign finance violation still yield dozens of column inches about the potential for campaign finance violations.
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 28 A pro-Kim Gardner rally in downtown St. Louis draws fewer people than the ballot in some aldermanic races. At least the weather is beautiful? Gardner’s supporters are calling on Judge Bryan Hettenbach to resign and Mayor Tishaura Jones to apologize for failing to support Gardner. Sure, maybe when the River Des Peres no longer stinks. Meanwhile, the Post-Dispatch digs into a crash near Carondelet Park on Saturday. Citizens apparently called in complaints about a traffic signal facing the wrong way on Wednesday, days before the crash. Police also noticed it was facing the wrong way when they reported to the scene Saturday. But never fear, city leaders say it was fixed Thursday, and neighbors backed them up. Even so, we can’t help but wonder about that “fix.” Isn’t the most plausible explanation that someone did a half-assed job, called it good enough and went home for the day — only for the signal to swing back into the wrong spot again? We’re in St. Louis; never underestimate the potential for rank incompetence.
WEDNESDAY, MARCH 1 Ace P-D photojournalist David Carson covers a balloon vigil memorializing the high-profile car accident that killed four and wounded another four the previous Sunday — but in addition to the mourning, he captures an attendee flashing his gun, even while wearing an ankle bracelet. Yikes. Things are so bad, even progressive city leaders are now floating the idea of red-light cameras as a fix for the city’s lawlessness. Yeah, that’ll solve everything. Meanwhile in D.C., the Supreme Court hears arguments in the Missouri AG’s attempt to block student loan forgiveness. Even Amy Coney Barrett seems skeptical that the Show-Me State has standing. Should have listened to St. Louis-based Judge Henry Autrey — he bounced the suit out of court for just that reason last October.
THURSDAY, MARCH 2 Fox 2 reports a man was robbed in the Fountain Park neighborhood by a total of 11 armed suspects. They asked to borrow his phone only to demand his passcode at gunpoint and then take off with the phone. The Wall Street Journal has reported on the trend of people using force or deception to garner iPhone passcodes and, once inside, emptying victims’ bank accounts and going to town making purchases through all their apps. Yet another thing to worry about on these mean streets. Also: Congratulations to former Cards’ third baseman Scott Rolen, whose greatness is now Cooperstown official!
FRIDAY, MARCH 3 Balmy weather turns into pouring rain, and we get one of those regular reminders of St. Louis drivers’ utter inability to navigate wet weather. Y’all know you can slow down, right? Also, disgraced South Carolina lawyer Alex Murdaugh is sentenced to two consecutive life terms for the murders of his wife and son. It takes the jury just 45 minutes to find Murdaugh guilty. We're still surprised he didn’t manage to pull a Pam Hupp and blame it on a family friend. Or do only St. Louis-area cops fall for that skullduggery?
SATURDAY, MARCH 4 Everyone who’s anyone turned out at CITYPARK to watch St. Louis City SC’s home opener — and the city’s hottest ticket became another victory! The region has been in an increasingly foul mood in recent years. Could professional soccer be what it takes to bring us together? Worth noting: The soccer celebration wasn’t marred by out-of-control drivers or marauding packs of thieves. Somehow, when they need to, the police manage to control the local chaos.
SUNDAY, MARCH 5 The swamp monkeys escape their cages at the St. Louis Zoo, and with that, a chill slithers down our spine. Yes, it was funny when Ben the Bear did it, but surely we can agree poop-hurling simians are another story. Good news: Unlike the perps of just about every other high-profile caper in St. Louis in recent years, these jailbreakers were swiftly apprehended. Also: Congratulations to the lady Billikens. They’re going to the NCAA tournament. The news isn’t as good for the Battlehawks: Our homegrown XFL team lost to the D.C. Defenders.
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