Country music star Zach Bryan is learning the hard way that when it comes to celebrity breakups, keeping things quiet isn’t exactly on the agenda. Bryan and his long-time girlfriend, social media personality Brianna “Chickenfry” LaPaglia, have called it quits, setting a new standard for public celebrity breakups. What began as a simple “it’s not you, it’s me” has snowballed into a full-blown spectacle involving diss tracks, social media blocking sprees, and a jaw-dropping $12 million offer from Bryan to keep her silent about the details - including ruining her night at the Golden Globes.
Let’s start at the beginning of the end, shall we? Bryan publicly announced the split, emphasizing the “respect and love” he still held for Brianna. Apparently, he didn’t hold her in such high regard, as LaPaglia claimed she was blindsided by his public announcement. Fans and followers immediately threw fuel on the social media fire, keeping the story circulating despite LaPaglia stepping away from the spotlight for her own mental health and peace. Scrollers couldn’t help themselves; they kept hashing out speculative details of what might have gone on behind closed doors.
Not only did Zach Bryan break things off in a very public way, but he then—according to LaPaglia—offered her $12 million to sign an NDA and keep quiet about the breakup. $12 million can buy a lot, but apparently, it can’t buy LaPaglia’s silence. She turned down the offer and seems more than happy to share her side.
But she may not have to do much talking on her own. Enter Dave Portnoy, founder of Barstool Sports, who’s taken it upon himself to defend Brianna’s honor with a diss track titled “Smallest Man.” The track accuses Bryan of infidelity, referencing his alleged activity on dating apps, and calls him out for his controversial comments about Taylor Swift. Portnoy swooping in to LaPaglia’s rescue is the perfect cherry on top of the pettiness sundae that social media users have been savoring as they watch this breakup unfold.
Since this drama started—thanks to Bryan’s public announcement—he’s gone on a massive social media blocking spree, cutting off LaPaglia and her Barstool “knights in shining armor” from accessing his content. Apparently, blocking them wasn’t quite enough for Bryan, as the $12 million “shush” offer came after the blocking spree.
Between a $12 million silence attempt, a widespread diss track, and a social media freeze-out, this has become the most entertaining reality show that’s never actually aired. One thing’s for sure: the real winner in this breakup is the audience enjoying every twist and turn, followed closely by Brianna Chickenfry. Maybe next time Zach Bryan decides to call it quits, he’ll hire a publicist first.
