The Worst Decisions You Can Make in St. Louis
Everybody tells you what you should do in St. Louis (visit the City Museum, eat dessert at Ted Drewes) but nobody tells you what you should avoid.
St. Louis isn't known as one of the easiest places to live, but life here doesn't always have to be hard. If you make the right decisions, you can be in all of the right places with all of the right people and you'll have a great time.
Here are the worst decisions you can make if you want to live your best St. Louis life. Don't say we didn't warn you.
Ryan Kelley
Going over to the east side after the bars close in St. Louis.
Nothing good happens after 3 a.m.
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Screengrab via
Google MapsGoing to the Brentwood Promenade for anything.
It’s just not worth it.
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Eating a slinger when you’re not actually drunk.
Slingers and booze just go together. (R.I.P. Eat-Rite)
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Wearing a Cubs jersey on game day.
You might get your face rearranged.
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Owning a Kia or a Hyundai.
You won’t be owning it for long out in these streets.
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Parking on a state street with your valuables displayed in your car.
Come on, you’re smarter than that.
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Courtesy Christie Yoder
Taking a swim in the Mississippi River.
Leave that to Jeff Buckley.
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Sarah Lovett
Going to City Museum without knee pads as an adult.
You will need surgery.
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Photo courtesy of
Google MapsDriving west on Highway 40 at rush hour.
Better hope you have some interesting podcasts to listen to.
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Going to Bar Napoli expecting to find a reasonably priced drink.
You have miscalculated.
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Flipping someone off who cut you off in traffic.
You will get a gun pulled on you, dum-dum.
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KASEY MORRIS
Buying property near the River Des Peres.
You can’t trust that thing.
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Going up into the Gateway Arch in July.
Peak summer is not the time to deal with those hot little elevators.
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RYAN KRULL
Ignoring your tuckpointing situation.
Your red brick house will crumble.
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FILE PHOTO
Going downtown for an event without a parking plan.
You gotta know where you’re going to ditch your car.
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Going to IKEA on a Saturday morning.
Seriously, why do you hate yourself?
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Taking the Metrolink to the Armory.
Yes, there's a stop right nearby, but you'll have to walk through a wasteland. Take an Uber instead!
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Storing valuables in your 100-year-old basement.
That jerk is gonna flood when you least expect it.
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Benjamin Simon
Hitting the accelerator as soon as the light turns green.
You've gotta wait for at least three cars to run the red first.
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Making a full and complete stop at a stop sign.
The car behind you will expect you to roll it and run into you.
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