What Your St. Louis College or University Says About You
Here in St. Louis, when people ask what school you went to, they mean high school. And make no mistake, they're asking in order to judge you (and find out if you maybe have any friends in common).
But for those who choose the college path, your answer to the "school" question can be equally illuminating. Our local student bodies have their own personalities — and unlike high school, it's often you, not your parents, deciding which fits best. That says something.
And even if it doesn't, a whole bunch of people will think it does. St. Louis is at heart a small town, and people make assumptions. Some are unfair — but many are hilarious.
So here's what people think about you when you tell them where you went to school in St. Louis. We're not saying we necessarily agree. We're just warning you.
Saint Louis University
You couldn’t get into Wash U but that’s OK. The people at SLU are a whole lot more attractive. You are also adept at working SLU into an endless series of puns ("SLUlips for the tulips, "SLUruba" for the campus swimming pools), because that’s what Billikens do.
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Southern Illinois University (Carbondale)
You are from Illinois, you don’t mind living in the sticks, and you looooove to party.
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Southwestern Illinois College
You are still writing in crayon, and that may not bode well for your future.
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Southern Illinois University Edwardsville, a.k.a. SIUE
You like a good bargain, and you are prepared to work hard in college because you know that’s what college is all about. You’re even willing to work super hard to find parking — otherwise you would have transferred out a long time ago. You also have a healthy (and justified) fear of geese.
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University of Illinois at Champaign-Urbana
You are very smart and know it, but perhaps also somewhat delusional, because you think nothing could be a bigger deal than going to school here. Once you leave Champaign-Urbana you may be headed for a rude awakening.
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Missouri University of Science and Technology, a.k.a. Rolla
You are really, really smart and well on your way to earning six figures, but money can’t buy you social skills.
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Concordia Seminary
You want to be a Lutheran minister, and not the friendly liberal kind. Good luck with that growth industry.
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Eden Seminary
You want to be a minister in the United Church of Christ, and you are passionate about the fact that evangelicals don’t have a monopoly on the gospel. Fly that rainbow flag!
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Maryville University
You think everyone wishes they’d gone to Maryville. Spoiler: They do not.
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ROSALIND EARLY
Fontbonne University
You don’t exist. I mean, no one’s ever met a Fontbonne student, much less seen anyone on this campus, right?
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Northwest Missouri State Online
You’re here because your job said you needed a degree to get a promotion.
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Harris-Stowe State University
Everyone assumes you're training to become a teacher. And real talk, you probably are.
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Lincoln University
Homecoming is an unnaturally big deal for you.
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Southeast Missouri State University
You go to college because your parents force you to.
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Lindenwood University
You want that D1 sports experience, but unless you're women's lacrosse, you’re not good enough to play in most D1 programs, so here you are. And now you can't conceive of drinking anywhere other than St. Charles.
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St. Louis Community College Forest Park
A parking situation that Wash U, SLU and SIUE kids can only dream about, decent classes and centrally located. You may have hacked college.
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St. Louis Community College Meramec
You grew up in a moderately well-off family in the county that nevertheless didn’t want to pay full tuition for all four years of college.
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St. Charles Community College (SCCC)
You live in St. Charles.
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Webster University
You are smart and artsy but had to go where the scholarship money was — and now you're just another weirdo trying to get your degree from a commuter school. Someday, they'll appreciate your greatness, but for now you find yourself in the strange position of envying the prestige of your college's championship chess club.
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Truman State University
You are smart and a bit quirky, and you probably think you are too good for St. Louis, but somehow you'll probably still end up here.
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